Census, Part II

(In case you missed it, Census, Part I from Feb 8, 2014)

It's hard to believe that 5 years ago, my brief career with the U.S. Census Bureau began.  In early 2009, the Spokane LCO (Local Census Office) opened. We were responsible for Eastern Washington, from the Cascade Range to Idaho, from Canada to Oregon.  I worked there for nearly 2 years, and although the job was often very frustrating and I detest government bloat and waste, I also met and worked with some of the most wonderful people I've ever known.  I guess a shared sense of misery brings out the best in us?

So here is a sampling of your tax dollars at work. Most of these items were promotional in nature, intended to publicize the Census effort. Most of these were left-overs as we shut down the office in late summer, 2010.  I really suspect that many of the ones that were given out wound up in the trash, closet, or the trunk of someone's car.

First is a bottle of "Corn Huskers Lotion." It was generic, and it was deemed necessary to facilitate fingerprints for background checks.  This was not a promotional item.  Apparently, Corn Huskers Lotion causes the ridges of ones fingerprints stand out and to be more receptive to ink, and in the latter stages of the operation, bio-metric scanning.  We had enough Corn Huskers Lotion to keep an adolescent boy happy for centuries!

Census hand sanitizer (It's ON Our Hands?)

Census "chap stick"

Census mouse pad

Census chip-clips

Census luggage tags

Census note pads

Census ice scraper

Census car air freshener

Census coffee mugs (These are actually quite nice if you don't mind the logo)

Census water bottle

Census jumbo cup?

Census insulated tumbler

Of course there just hafta be Census hats!

Census headband/ear warmer

Census gloves!

Census winter cap

Census scarf

My Census office staff shirt for "Open House Day"

Reverse side

Census T-shirt like we gave out

Reverse

Census blanket (rolled up)

Census tote bag

Census shopping bag

Another tote

Foldable shopping bag

The infamous "official" Census bag carried by field workers.

And last, but most certainly not least, my personal favorite and perhaps the most
useless piece of junk I saw... A Census Rubik's cube.  The sides are not even all the same
color... how the f**k is one supposed to solve it?

Now, this is certainly not an all-inclusive list. There were coloring books, posters, etc.  And let's not forget the actual materials used for conducting the operations. I wish I knew how much excess we destroyed, as well as how much we paid FedEx for overnight shipping of completed materials to the National Processing Center... only to have it wait days or weeks to be processed.

There were wasteful practices, in which some people who were originally cooperative became infuriated by the time they were visited by a Census worker for the 5th or 6th time over multiple phases of the operation (different phases, different protocols... I won't try to explain it here.)

I could go on and on. I wish I could somehow stop it, I even have a page or two of notes.  But ultimately, I'm like a mouse in a flour mill, trying to stop the mill wheel.  You get crushed by those with more authority who can almost always find a way to justify their actions & decisions.

The last time I tried hard to be responsible with tax dollars, I was in the Air Force. I was handling a purchase of several hundred thousand dollars of computer and software items, and I was spending the money as if it were my own.  I was shopping around with various vendors, and would have saved tens of thousands of dollars.  I was called into a meeting with my CO and the section head who "wanted" the stuff (I don't say "needed") right away!  I was humiliated in front of him, and threatened with dismissal from my position.  Ultimately, he got what he wanted, and most of it sat in storage and began to become obsolete while a new building was constructed, because 1 year in computer terms is like dog years, right?

(sigh)

Rant = Over

Anyway, it's early... gonna try to grab a few winks before the sun comes up.