Monday, January 20, 2014

OMG! Dolphin Bacon!

The Japanese are killing sea creatures.

"The water will turn red will their blood"

Frozen in time, the headline had so much imperitus
meaning to the intern... but it sounded good.

They've since corrected their grammar... but you get the idea.

And in other news...

On any given day, approximately 7,042 beef cows are slaughtered.  And about 166 veal calves, 26,348 pigs, and 505 head of sheep.

And, last but not least, figuring approximately 5 lbs per bird, there were 12,602,740 chickens who met their demise every day. Choke on that McNugget and wash it down with a Coca-Cola.

But at least CNN is not biased.

Some animal rights activists go so far and would have you believe the deep fryer at McDonalds is no different than the ovens at Auschwitz.  That trivializes and dehumanizes the horror of the holocaust... I won't approach that issue, for now.

Why are cetaceans more or less deserving than our bovine friends?  Because they're cute?  Or seem "smart" while cows are "dumb?"


I despise waste of life, and am not a fan of factory farms.  But unless you want to pay $19.95 per pound for your beef, it is a fact of life.

Unless you are a vegan, or at least a vegetarian... YOU are part of those numbers.

DO NOT lecture me about the morality of killing a deer vs a cow, or a sheep vs a dolphin.

And bacon simply is ambrosia of the gods.

In short, why does CNN inflame passions?  Because they can. But I repeat... unless you are a devout vegan... SHUT THE FUCK UP!


(My numbers are based upon total slaughter statistics divided by 365)

USDA Slaughter Statistics

USDA Poultry Statistics

Saturday, January 11, 2014


Earlier, on Friday, my wife brought me a cup of coffee.  I had not looked at the clock, I did not know it was afternoon.  I was lost in the day, I did not even know what time it was.  I'm actually an easy-to-please coffee drinker.  Black, thank you.  She was not feeling well, but she brought me a cup of coffee. 

I walked into her study, I had an empty lead crystal glass in my hand.  For dramatic effect, I slammed it down and said "I quit."

Amongst her slowly putting away of Christmas decorations, she did not get it right away and asked me to repeat myself.

So I slammed my glass down again, and repeated "I quit."  (Dramatically expressing oneself is never wasted.)

I talked to her for a bit, I gave her permission to nag me about drinking. I'll probably regret that decision.

I walked out the back door onto the deck, I threw that glass.

That is the second time that glass has gone airborne across the back yard.  It is damn near indestructible.

The first time was about 4 years ago, I got upset at my then girlfriend (now my wife) and got drunk.  Somewhere along the way, I banged my head, and like a stuck pig I bled.  I passed out, she became concerned and when I didn't wake up, she called 911.  I got hauled to the hospital in an ambulance.

I was confrontational with a nurse, I ripped off my C-collar, and was threatened with anesthesia.  (Don't mess with a nurse... they will f-you up!)

Anyhow, my son was pissed at me over that incident. He sailed the glass in question across the back yard.  It bounced off the fence, but it did not break.  It is a lovely glass, as I said, made of lead crystal.  Could it be the lead that is making me stupid?


I quit.

Friday, January 10, 2014

The time has come...

I recently had a conversation with my wife.  I told her that I like me better when I've been drinking.  After all, that person is funny. He's the life of the party, he is witty, he knows stuff and is not afraid to express it. He writes well, and don't dare challenge him in debate. He will smack you down and leave you wondering what just hit you.

He is the me that I know, the one with which I can put my feet up on the coffee table, the one that I like hanging out with, the one that I've been drunk with, the one that I've done stupid shit with. The person that I know better than anyone else  But he is killing me... he is bad for me.

And then my wife told me she does not like that person.  How can that be?  He has never abused her, he has never struck her... but she does not like being around him?  Despite the fact that he is the life of the party... she wants to avoid him.

I don't know the real me.  I have been drinking since I was a kid, I have dodged and ducked and gone so many different ways that I've lost track of where and whom I'm supposed to be.

I have managed to avoid the problems and pitfalls, I have not killed myself or anyone else. I have at times been grossly inebriated, yet I have functioned... to this day you might not realize I was under the influence unless you smelled it on my breath. I can make complex decisions and read and write... all under the influence.  I can build and maintain computers, I can set up a network in front of you, all while under the influence.  Even as I write this, yep... you guessed it.

I'm afraid the piper is warming up in the wings, that my dues are going to demand payment... so it is up to me to quit the club.

On the plus side?  I get to define myself... I get to be me with no preconceived notions. I get to reinvent me... for no one else knows me either.

I get to choose my mask, if I wish to wear one.

Perhaps I will not.