I Was Feeling Nuts This Morning...

This morning I woke up with a penis between my legs. (Gasp!)

It was my own, and it is still there.  It was erect, that’s just how it goes, especially early in the morning.

Approximately 50% of the population has one and touches it daily to do such things as going to the restroom, bathing, or masturbating.

The other 50% have a wonderful device known as a “vagina.”  I’m pretty sure those of the female persuasion also touch their hoo-ha daily.

Why is this a naughty secret or concept?

I do not think of my mother or grandmother in a sexual manner, but I know they had sex. I hope they enjoyed it, and I hope it was more frequent than the number of aunts & uncles or brothers and sisters I have. I also do not think of my daughter or sisters in a sexual manner, I do not imagine people going to poop either, but I know it happens.  Have a nice bowel movement, smoke a cigarette if you want, have your hubby put his ding-dong in your hoo-ha, or go masturbate.ENJOY IT!

Aside from the complexities of our brains, next in line are the mysteries of our reproductive organs.

Why is it a dirty idea for me to talk about putting my ding-dong in a woman’s hoo-ha? I wake up and wish to do so on an almost daily basis.

Sex is wonderful, I plan to have it as often as possible, and if I’m doing it correctly, she’ll be back for more.

(Why else is she coming 'round the mountain when she comes?)