And there's that pesky numeral seven again. Pops up in the Bible & literature all the time. Here we go again. The mystical number 7. Makes me want to have some Seagram's 7.
WARNING: Sarcasm, and perhaps a religiously offensive, laden post. Enter at your own risk.
BTW, did you know there is no basis for a 7 day week, other than religion? The month is based on the phases of the moon, the year upon Earth's revolution about the sun, the seasons upon the equinoxes and solstices. The day is 24 hours based upon Earth's rotation. I suppose it could have been 48 1/2 hour intervals, or 96 1/4 hour intervals, etc, so my statement is not 100% absolute.
Time is the method the Universe uses to keep everything from happening simultaneously.
Here we go: I stumbled across this piece recently while prowling the Interwebs:
Now, first of all, I want to say I have many friends and family members who are Christian. I am not anti-anything (other than ignorance) when it comes to religion. As long as no one is trying to burn me at the stake for being a witch, or trying so saw my head off with a butter knife for being an infidel, etc..
But this is my house, you do not have to walk through the door. I, in fact, spread it in lamb's blood red over my door posts (above.) I am going to say what I want.
"Any man may easily do harm, but not every man can do good to another." -- Plato
If religion guides your life and helps you to do no harm to others, wonderful. If it helps you do good, even better. I personally follow the principle of "Leave me alone and I'll leave you alone," all the while contributing to homeless shelters and soon to be volunteering at an animal shelter. And I don't expect a gold star on my essay at the end.
I don't concern myself with what you believe. I will respect your beliefs, I will bow my head if you wish to pray, I will observe a moment of silence, etc. But if you want to discuss it in-depth with me, I can be extremely sarcastic, even excoriating. The gloves are off!
So no punches pulled. If you find the beauty of God in a flower, a child, or thunder... fine. You interpret it as you wish. But do NOT offer it to me as "proof" that a God or gods exist. You and I might gaze at the night sky and be in awe. You may see a god, I will not.
"Stand under the stars and say what you like to them. Praise or blame them, question them, pray to them, wish upon them. The universe will not answer. But it will have spoken." -- Timothy Ferris
But that earlier link was an extremely condescending piece of tripe. Do not attempt to sway me with your euphemisms for "truth" or "proof." I await proof of God. I can not "prove" there is no god any more than I can prove there is no invisible guardian angel swilling booze in need of a shave and sporting a John Bonham tattoo sitting on your right shoulder. (There is, by the way. He told me to tell you "Hello" and that you should change soap and exfoliate more often.)
But if you are a person of faith... all you have to do is provide demonstrable proof of a supernatural entity, in some way verifiable to the rest of the world. So I guess that works out to at least twice? I dunno.
I actually found the previously linked post by back-tracking from this next article. I don't want to just read stuff that mirrors my own opinion, or someone's interpretation. So I found and read the original article.
In addition to the article, I find the comments for both this and the original piece to be amusing. (The following are quotes and not my own work.) Here are a few of my favorites:
Frank Mitchell:
All those things prove the truth of MY beliefs:
1. The caterwauling of infants reveals the blind idiocy of Azathoth, to whom the death of suns is music.
2. Thunderstorms echo the voice of Yog-Sothoth, who exists throughout all time and space and in the Spaces Between, and the eventual vessel through which It will gain access to this world.
3. Flowers reflect the unstoppable fecundity of Shub-Niggurath, Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young.
4-6. The Christian religion arose through the seductive lies of Nyarlathotep, the Crawling Chaos. From behind a thousand masks the Messenger of the Great Old Ones seduces humankind along a path of ignorance and mindless adoration.
7. Above all, I fear Great Cthulhu who whispers in my dreams, warning of the day when he rises from R'lyeh to spread madness and death.
Holytape:
1. Babies prove the existence of both God and the Devil. At eleven o'clock in the morning, fully feed, wearing a clean diaper, then yes a baby is proof of god's love. But after a week or two with no sleep, at 2:15 in the morning, cranky, screaming its head off, and wearing a diaper that can ward off turkey vultures, then a baby just might prove that the Devil is real.
2. Thunderstorms prove God, because like God thunderstorms are predictable by NOAA, and they randomly kill golfers.
3. Flowers again prove God, because like the largest of gods, which is Jesus, the largest flowers smell of rotting meat.
4. The bible proves God, because it requires a miracle to believe that all 66 books contain the same message and theme.
5. The spread of Christianity proves it to be correct, just like the global spread of Islam proves it to be incorrect, because.
6. If Jesus weren't real then why is he always showing up in my taco. Checkmate.
7. God is my friend, albeit it a friend who doesn't answer his phone, always asks for money and has never come to my birthday party.
Richard Wade:
So if I might paraphrase these 7 "proofs,"
1. Humans are emotionally moved by the infants of their own species, therefore God.
2. Humans are emotionally moved by violent/dangerous things in nature, therefore God.
3. Humans are emotionally moved by strong colors and symmetry, therefore God.
4. Humans are emotionally moved by exciting or romantic stories, therefore God.
5. Humans are emotionally moved by large, unified groups of humans, therefore God.
6. Humans are emotionally moved by loving/protecting/disciplining parental figures, therefore God.
7. Humans are emotionally moved by figures of camaraderie, allies, and friendship, therefore God.
To sum up, if something is emotionally moving, it proves God.
Not very convincing to an adult who has an emotional maturity greater than a child's. Unfortunately, many, many adults do not.
Bob Springsteen:The day I found God. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that Jesus doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. Praise the Lord.....Praise the Lord.....Praise the Lord.
And (WARNING: NOT FOR THE FAINT)
God... I absolutely hate the fucker (from Pitch Black with Vin Diesel)
So instead of wagering, I am doubling down ...
**********
There are many more... I can not find them all right now. Tongue in cheek to some, yes. Some made me laugh out loud. But proof of God. No.
Oh, that Yahweh... he's got SUCH a sense of humor, doesn't he? If "Hide n' Seek" were an Olympic event, he'd take the Gold Medal.
Oh, that Yahweh... he's got SUCH a sense of humor, doesn't he? If "Hide n' Seek" were an Olympic event, he'd take the Gold Medal.
No comments:
Post a Comment